Nicole's Blog

I haven’t posted on here in ages, but I just got braces yesterday. I haven’t had headaches a lot but my gums are so irritated and I would love to have something besides soup and potatoes right now because I can’t chew to save my life. I have rainbow brackets and they make me smile~

I miss everyone and hope all is well.

I’ve had a lot to type up today and I felt like doing it in seperate posts because my posts are too long anyway.

I have a story.

I went to Borders awhile back and picked up Harry Potter Should Have Died by Ben Scohen and Emerson Spartz. I’ve read it already and enjoyed it. But when I went to buy it at the cash register, the man there was shocked at my purchase. He starts off by jokingly saying, “YOU THINK HARRY SHOULD HAVE DIED!?” I stood there stunned, laughing for a minute thinking, Well, I don’t care one way or another because the series has ended… and it’s only the book I chose to buy and that is what it was titled… not my fault. So I conjured up something in rebuttal…

I think he should have because it certainly would have made it less predictable.

Then the “debate” began. His rebuttal, then mine, and so on. I had fairly strong arguments; it would have prevented predictability, prevented the epilogue that sucked, made it easier on JK from being pressured by fans to write an eighth installment… it went on for about five minutes, and there were people behind me in line waiting to purchase stuff.

So, our hands are on the table, almost in each other’s faces arguing… and he ends it with this remark -

“You think you could’ve written it better yourself?!”

THE AUDACITY. I told him I never said I could, and he goes off on how I implied it. He thought he won, so he gave me my change and we both laughed. It made me somewhat furious that he wouldn’t let me finish a sentence and his rebuttals had nothing to do with what I presented to him. He just thinks he won because he brought up a statement that I couldn’t respond to.

I’m not good at arguing. Neither was he; he was good at winning an argument by presenting something completely unrelated. I have friends like that, and it drives me mental.

It’d probably be best for you not to read this if you haven’t seen the film yet! (Spoiler WARNING)! Twilight lovers, don’t take this seriously, this is just my criticism. (Note that I loved the books at one point in my life.)

So my friends and I ventured to the movie theaters last night to see New Moon. Four of my friends and I went to see it – one of my friends being a guy who just wanted to go to make fun of it. One of my other friends and I went for that reason, and the two others girls enjoyed the books and wanted to enjoy the film. We were all expecting to laugh the majority of the time though.

Let’s say we had low expectations.

And I’m not going to talk much on the overall absurdly awfulness of the film, but certain aspects that annoyed me… anyone who has seen it, feel free to comment!

The cliff diving scene – my favorite scene in the entire book.  I expected it to be one of the more horrible scenes, and it was. Bella just randomly drowning, she looks about as real as the cliff and the water below it… Edward randomly materializes and just floats there with her – very awkward scene. Then Victoria comes swimming along like a wannabe mermaid from the fourth Harry Potter movie. Scared me to death.

I swear, 75% of the time Robert Pattinson is on screen, he is in slow motion. WHY!? He’s supposed to be a wicked fast vampire; does anyone else see the irony here?

The ridiculous running scene with Edward and Bella being vampires – Alice’s vision. This made the entire theater laugh. I don’t know what the director was thinking when they made this scene. I’m hoping they strived it to be a hilarious insert, but I fear that it wasn’t intended to be that way. They were both sparkling like the vampires they were; again, IN SLOW MOTION.

Awful effects overall – car scenes, awful flying stunts, and random blood; we’ll go in order. Any scene anyone is in a car, (mostly the scenes with Jacob and Bella) look pathetically greenscreened. You could tell the car was fake, and the trees were they were the SAME trees, mirrored on both sides. Every time they were in the car, they didn’t steer. Everyone’s hands stayed motionless, and you could plainly see in parts of the movie they were rarely ever on straight stretch roads. Any stunt with flying looked like they were just flailing in mid air. It could have been more graceful and positioned, but no. They apparently cared as much about stunts as they did placing blood. It looked fake, all the time. An example – Bella wrecks on the motorcycle. You see the blood coming from her hairline, but where’s the gash or the cut? It’s coming out of nowhere! The blood in the birthday scene was also poorly done as well. I was underwhelmed.

The only good actors/actresses had the smallest roles – Charlie, Jasper, and Jane. Potentially Aro, I couldn’t tell. Charlie had some of the best one liners in the whole movie – he was hilarious. I hated him in the books, (along with Bella’s school friends), but the movies are glorifying the annoying characters in the books in the movies, and I’m alright with that. Jasper had minimal lines as well, but whenever he spoke it was great. Jane, (Dakota Fanning) had less than five minutes of actual screen time, said less than 10 words, and managed to make it to the top of the list. Was Aro’s actor good? I couldn’t tell.

The motorcycle scene in Port Angeles – Bella goes off with a pedophile. I don’t remember this being in the book and it was just over the top creepy for me.

Edward needs to keep his top on. All the time. As my friend pointed out, he looks like a dead fish. It’s not a desirable sight to any rational teenage girl.

The ending – the entire movie theater was disgusted. “Marry me.” DONE. Screen goes black without even a second of staring at Edward’s face to take it in. No dramatic pause. My friend told us, “Well, what a cliffhanger. They’ll just have to start the next movie off with a resounding ‘YES’.” They have no choice, otherwise it doesn’t flow.

I couldn’t tell it was directed by someone new! The first movie was awful, and this one was worse. The first movie was directed by the same lady who directed The Nativity Story (Catherine Hardewick). I see no correlation with baby Jesus and vegetarian vampires, and you could certainly tell with Twilight’s quality. But there seemed to be a correlation with Hardewick and the new director because it struck me as almost similar – ridiculous camera angles that made no sense, too many unnecessary close ups on Bella’s quivering lips, Edward’s unpleasant face, and Jacob’s twitching neck, way too many random scenes of just silence, staring at Bella or another character… I could go on.

There is almost something that I indefinitely missed. I hope you all went to see it, because its absolute awfulness paid for my eight dollars of laughter with friends.